The Trick is to Keep Breathing

No matter how often I think I can't stand it anymore,

I always do.

There is no alternative, 

I don't fall, I don't foam at the mouth, faint, collapse or die. 

It's the same for all of us. 

You can't get out of the inside of your own head. 

Something keeps you going. 

 Something always does.
 

Janice Galloway, The Trick is to Keep Breathing

Jacqui sent me that quote the other day - I like the part about foaming at the mouth.  We get asked a lot how we don't fall apart and I really don't know.  The other day someone said "I can't even imagine what you're going through" and I thought "Either can I", it's just so hard to believe sometimes  - I look at Jacqui and think, how can she have cancer - it just doesn't make sense, she's too young, has too many hopes, has too many dreams.  

But something keeps you going, something always does....

Faith - yes, even very shaky faith

Family and friends - yes, the love and support is amazing

Little surprises - yes, for example, this little bundle arrived last night!

 

Miss Jany Valentine

 

So a little news - Jacqui got an appointment with her Chemo Oncologist, Dr. Morris, on February 24th - we were annoyed because it's so far away, but when she called back to see if she could get something sooner, they said he was away on the 10th (they do clinics on Mondays) and then the 17th was a holiday - so no, however the nurse did tell Jacqui that Dr. Morris has already scheduled chemo for her for the 24h, 25th and 26th.  (Thunk - I almost started foaming at the mouth).  So this isn`t for sure but as the nurse said it`s easier to cancel than to set it up in a hurry.  What I`m guessing and this could be wrong, is that he knows what he wants to do, he just needs to get Jacqui`s approval.  Last time she had chemo she was on a three week cycle - week one was blood tests Monday, then 8 hours of chemo Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and then recovery week 2 & 3.  She had 4 rounds of this.  So we aren`t sure if it will be similar this time or something different.  Either way the thought of seeing her go through this again makes me sad.

So PET scan on the 14th and Cancer Clinic on the 24th, and then we`ll see what is next.

This is dumb, I hate this.