Sunday 30 June 2013

Experiences can be completely different, but sometimes there is understanding



Standing on the Ridge in Parkland looking down at the flooded Bow River.
 
It’s been just over a week since the flood.
 
Thursday, June 20th we went to bed knowing that things were bad, but when we started the day on Friday morning, we woke up to the reality of something that would be devastating, life changing, involve great loss, an event of vast proportions.  We even had a friend in our basement that had been evacuated from his home in the middle of the night
 
Three years ago on June 20, 2010, we went to bed knowing that things were bad, but when we started the day that next morning, we woke up to the reality of something that would be devastating, life changing, involve great loss, an event of vast proportions (to us).  It was the day of Jacqui’s 1st surgery – when she had her foot amputated, the cancer taken away – the first time.
 
All this week while we’ve been in our house that’s “high and dry”, free from all the hardship that so many are going through – I’ve been feeling so removed and untouched  and a little detached.  It’s just been too much to take in – in our area, it was easy to forget it had happened and it wasn’t until I drove to look at the places that had been flooded, had seen the devastation, the loss, the piles of garbage piled by the roads after being dragged from flooded basements,   the muck and mire – that it made it real.   
 
I feel that in my dry world, though physically I don’t get it, maybe mentally I did just a little bit. 
 
I understand what it feels like to:
 
- wake up in the morning after and have those first few seconds of normal - until I remember
- have a feeling of hopelessness and despair
- have the days and weeks of recovery seem endless
experience real loss
- realize that everything may not be okay for a very long time or ever
- be confused while filling out endless, mind boggling insurance forms - worried about how it's all going to work out

- have to make decisions when you can hardly remember your name  
- I know how it feels to wake up in the morning, to hope to see the sun and to find that even though the sun’s up, it still feels very, very dark
 
Experiences can be completely different, but sometimes there is understanding

Monday 10 June 2013

A few months ago, our minister, John, asked if we'd be willing to talk on a Sunday morning about the ups and downs of our faith during Jacqui's journey over the past 3 years.  We thought about it and decided we would.  It happened this past Sunday morning - a little scary, a lot weird, extreme vulnerability, a bit like sitting there naked (aren't you supposed to imagine the audience in their underwear? - I got that so, so mixed up!!!).  Anyways, if you're interested in hearing about struggles in faith and belief, here is the link:

http://www.canyoncreek.ca/sermons/20130609%20-%20When%20Faith%20Collides%20with%20Suffering.mp3

Thanks again for caring.

Thursday 6 June 2013

Why...



Time flies when you’re having fun....
 
why is that 
why doesn’t it slow down when you’re having fun so you can wring the joy out of every moment
why doesn’t it speed up when times are hard so you don’t have to feel the pain for so long 
why is the winter long 
why is the summer short 
why, when after Jacqui’s surgery in January, did the thought of her having to wait 6 – 8 weeks to heal and go back work seemed like a lifetime
why now, with having no appointments to worry about until October, does it seems like the time is flying by 
why is that 
Time does what it wants – it has nothing to do with me, I can’t hurry it along, I can’t slow it down, I can’t borrow more, I can’t give it away
So I commend the enjoyment of life,
 because there is nothing better for a person under the sun
 than to eat and drink and be glad.
Then joy will accompany them in their toil
 all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.
                                                                                -King Solomon