Sunday 31 May 2015

And now it's all over, except for the crying

I'm sitting in my living room by myself and it is silent for the first time in days

In the freezer are the remains of the copious amounts of food that has been prepared and delivered to our home by loving hands

On every other spare surface are bunches of flowers - all sizes and shapes - all beautiful tributes in various stages of decay

In the corner sits a bag with cards and well wishes from so many and a book with names of those who came to pay their respects

There was a service that I think she would have loved and we were overwhelmed that so many wanted to share this with us

A walk to remember to her favorite places

But there is something missing and my heart aches

And now it's all over, except for the crying








Saturday 23 May 2015

Jacquibook

May 23, 2015

The out pouring of love and kindness to us in the past few days has been overwhelming and wonderful - someone said we should change the name of Facebook to Jacquibook.  It will take us a while to go through everything, but please know that each message and email is read and cherished. 

I wanted to let you know about the service we will be having.  The details are all at:

https://mhfh.com/tribute-ajax/print-obituary.html?id=28103

Jacqueline Michelle WARNER


All are welcome. 

(Obit and messages below added to this book from website, not originally in blog)

Hedy Serger (nee Bergman) 

Hi Carol;

I’ve been thinking about you lately so I thought I’d google you. Came up with your moms obituary which is where I found your married name. I was so very sorry to read your daughters obituary. I can’t imagine your pain but I want you to know that I’m praying for you and your family. My husband Michael and I have three children. Two sons and one daughter, all married with children. Our daughter Erin Siemens is 10 months older than your daughter so my thoughts are very much with you. We live in Steinbach Mb. If you are interested in chatting I’d enjoy that. Love and Prayers, Hedy

Caryna Pinheiro 

My sincere condolences Peter. My prayers will be with you and your family. In Portuguese we use the word “saudade” to describe the feeling of missing someone. It also signifies that you shared many especial moments worth carrying in your heart for the rest of your life. 

May you find strength in the love you share with your family. 

Blessings,

Caryna Pinheiro

Allis

Dear Carol, Peter and Tyler, 

I’ve just watched the video of Jacqui and it does not take much to see that she was an incredible young woman – full of love, wisdom, intelligence, and sensitivity.

I am overwhelmed by her beauty and I am sure with a strong soul like Jacqui’s – she will always be with you.

With much love – and my profound condolences.

Allison xoxoxo

Cathy Pritchard 

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that my thoughts are with you. I firmly believe you now have an angel eternally watching over you with love.

Marvin 

Peter, 

My sincere condolences to you and your family. 

Marvin

D

Peter and Family, 

My deepest sympathies to you and your family, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I hope you will find some comfort in your memories of your beautiful daughter.

May God bless and comfort you all during this difficult time.

D

Peter and Family,

My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I hope your memories will give you some comfort.

May God bless you and give you strength.

Helga Thordars

Hi Carol and family,

I heard of your loss and you have been in my thoughts….. you have my heartfelt sympathy and condolences my old friend….thinking and praying for you guys,

Your childhoold buddy,

Helga

Paul Prochnau 

Thank you for sharing your family’s journey of heartache at your daughters memorial service. It was very honoring to Jesus, to her, and to your community of friends and family. The next morning I read a devotional by George Matheson out of “Streams in the desert” and it made me think of you.

(May 30th). Your family will be in my prayers in the days to come, especially Tyler.

mark and pam macd

Carol, Peter and Tyler 

We were very sad to hear of Jacqui’s passing. While we can’t begin to imagine what you have and will continue to go through we do know what a great and strong family the Warners are … we have you in our thoughts and prayers …. Mark Pam and family

Valerie Ekelund (Hamende) 

I attended Prince of Wales Elementary and R.T. Alderman Junior High with Jacqui. We have been out of touch for a long time, but my thoughts and deepest condolences are with her family and friends now. It was a privilege to have known her for the short time that I did. She is an inspiration and has left a lasting impression on so many.

Peter and Nora McAleer 

Dear Carol, Dear Peter, Dear Tyler;

Our deepest sympathy on the loss of Jacqui. May God welcome her unto the Peace she deserves and grant you and the extended family peace-of-mind in celebrating her life and remembering

her always. 

Peter and Nora McAleer, Peter and Kristiane McAleer, Dennis and Jennifer Jeffery

Bob and B

Peter, Carol and Tyler. We are sending Thoughts and Prayers to you as you Celebrate the remarkable Life of your beautiful daughter Jacqui. We Love you and you are in our Hearts. 

Love Bob, Bonnie and Aunty Gwen Thompson xoxo

John Francis 

Peter and Carol,

My deepest sympathies to you and your family over the passing of Jacqueline. I am very saddened to hear of your loss. Peter, you had shared with me this journey so I thank you for that; and as a parent, I can certainly understand your grief right now. Know that my prayers for you are that God’s peace will embrace you, comfort you and give you hope. 

I am so very sorry for your loss.

-John

Tracy and Jack Grainge 

We are phenomenally sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter/sister. There are no words I can share that would be adequate at this time. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Tracy and Jack Grainge, with love and support from Roger, Bruce and David Lane as well.

Kim Armstr

Thinking of all of you this friday….my sincere and deepest condolences to all of you. I shall miss seeing her on Fb and reading about her journey.

Lynette & Bill Blayney 

“What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us.” -Helen Keller 

We can’t begin to imagine what you are feeling, but let us share our heart-felt condolence. We are so very sorry for your loss Carol, Peter and Tyler. 

-The Blayney’s

Kathleen Duff 

There truly are no words that can comfort the loss you have experienced. I can’t understand or relate to your pain so I will not even try! My thoughts and prayers as they always have been are still with you now and I there is ever anything you need or I can help with please know I am there! She was an incredibly strong woman and a beautiful sole but again you already know that! 

Truly devastated by your loss!

XOXO

Kathleen and Howard

Nicola Pare 

Jacqui,

You loved fiercely and will be missed fiercely. I remember the very first day I moved in and we became instant friends. We spent the day touring around Lethbridge. You as my tour guide, the wind at our backs, it really could not get any better. To finish off the evening we plopped down on the couch, flicked on the tele and started watching Saturday Night Live. Kristen Wigg came on the screen and was playing an infamous bald with baby hands and a snaggle tooth and you looked over with a cheeky grin and burst out laughing. Proceeding this, these words escaped your lips, ” you look like Kristen Wigg. We immediately went into hysterics. This was when I knew I had found my match and we would be the best of roommates. Three years we had together and that three years will never be forgotten. There was never a dull moment with you. You were the life of the party and always had a story to tell. My memories of you are so fond Jacqui and I am so very honoured I had the opportunity to do life with you. Thanks for joyfully living this life setting an example for so so many. Life is not too short, it is exactly as long as it it supposed to be, a statement that will keep with me forever. I have learned much from you. How to love, how to laugh, how to just be me. I sure hope you are tearing up the dance floor in heaven Midge. What a delight you were and will continue to be.

Cathy Groves 

May loving memories ease your loss and bring you comfort. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hilda & Bob Bennett 

Dear Carol ,Peter & Tyler

Just to let you know you are in our thoughts and

prayers 

Hilda & Bob Bennett

David Morris

Dear Carol, Peter and Tyler, 

Our love and sympathy to you from the team at the Intensive Palliative Care Unit. 

I thought you might be interested in knowing the impact that Jacquie had here with us. Last week I found her blog entry “Life is Not too Short” on the printer on the unit. One of the nurses had been following Jacquie’s blog after having cared for her while here on the unit. She was so impressed she wanted to share it with others. 

I too was impressed with the wisdom and faith that Jacquie exhibited in that thoughtful reflection. I mentioned it to the team gathered in rounds on the morning of the 22nd of May. One of the doctor’s asked if I might read it aloud for the whole team. We did not know that Jacquie had passed the night before but she was very much on our minds and she spoke to us all very eloquently that morning. 

May God continue to give you all the strength, wisdom and comfort you need at this time. 

Sincerely,

-David

Craig Rieger 

Please accept the heartfelt condolences from our entire team at Fit Metabolism. We are praying for strength, peace and the presence of the Lord that surpasses understanding for your entire family.

Ingrid & Brian Morris

Dear Carol, Peter and Tyler,

From everything we know about Jacqui through reading blogs and listening to people who knew her, missing her goes without saying but her Love will be with you forever. She has left an indelible impression behind never to be forgotten by anyone, especially her beautiful loving family. Sincerest Condolences ,

Ingrid and Brian Morrison

Barry Matthews 

The women with the great voice was left …. there is a huge whole. Great sympathy to Carol, Peter and Tyler. 

-Barry Matthews

Melissa & Chris Spaetgens 

We would like to express our sincere condolences to you and your family. 

Melissa & Chris Spaetgens

Pauline and Benoit 

Peter and family, please accept our most sincere condolences. Our thoughts are with you in these difficult times. 

Regards,

Ben and Pauline

Uncle Michael Hooge 

Dear Peter and Carol , Offering my condolences on the passing of your daughter Jacqueline. I had the pleasure of meeting her at her grandmother’s memorial. May you experience God’s nearness and His love at this time. Love you Mike

Amanda Myers 

My heart goes out to her family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. I have only met Jacqui on a handful of occasions and during these brief moments I can understand how big an impact she had on the world in such a short span of time. Her memory will live on in those she has blessed with her time here.

AJ 

Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. Know that God is aware of the tears you are shedding. (Psalm 56:18) He will soon do what is said at Acts 24:15, which promises us of a resurrection of our loved ones. May that bring you hope. Take comfort in your good memories and allow your family and loving friends to help you through this difficult time.

Linda Hartwig 

Jacqui’s strength and positive attitude was certainly part of who she was but please know that her core came from you, her family. For her to know she had this amazing support throughout her ordeal reinforced that she wasn’t on this part of her journey alone. There can be nothing harder than what you’ve been through and take peace in knowing she’s now safe and out of pain.

Much love, your Smith cousins, Graham, Linda and Gordon.

Jacob MacLean 

My heartfelt condolences for your loss. Jacqui was a mutual friend to my wife & I. We had the privilege of meeting & getting to know Jacqui where we used to work for many years. In the time we knew her, she proved a constant reminder of truly living life to the fullest. She appreciated things in a perspective not many see; she challenged the norm & brought a smile to our hearts with her positivity, smile & laughter. We love and miss you always.

Susan Cranst

Dear Carol, Peter and Tyler.

There really aren’t any words that convey the sadness that I feel for yourselves and Jacqui. Reading about her journey described what an amazing young woman she is. Her outlook on life was truly inspiring. She has left her family and friends with a lot of great memories to cherish forever. The only comfort is that she is no longer suffering and is at peace.

Take Care of yourselves

Love Susan

Barbara Williams 

Dear Carol, Peter and Tyler,

We are very sorry for your loss. May every cherished memory of Jacqui comfort you in the days ahead. She was truly a special young lady and although we did not know Jacqui well, following her blog was such an insight to how selfless and full of love she was. The strength you all shared on this journey is an inspiration. Words cannot begin to describe how sad we feel for all of you. Love Barbara and Dan Williams

Bev Gneo 

My heart breaks for your loss.

Kayla Shartau 

I went to the UofL with Jacqui. It’s been amazing watching her on this journey. How she made her life beautiful, fun and full of passion.

Though unfairly cut short her life was full. 

My condolences to her family.

Wendy and Jim Amy 

Dear Carol Peter and Tyler – we would like to express our deepest sympathy in the loss of your shining princess. We will not be in Calgary to attend Jacque’s service but please know that our thoughts will be there with you all. Hold on to the memories. 

Sincerely,

Jim and Wendy

Suzi and Barry Bate 

Carol and Peter – I’m sure Jacqui had lots to do with your coping throughout these horrid and amazing five years. And she’ll be pleased with her “event” on Friday, no doubt! Please know that your family has impacted so many others including ours. Jacqui is in every rainbow you’ll see and all the beauty that surrounds you, whether it be a Lilac tree or the clear running stream nearby. You’ll never lose sight of her, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live on. Allow for the grief and the change. Our thoughts and love are with you all.

Kim Armstr

My sincere condolence to the Warner family. Hugs. She was an angel and will be missed!

Thursday 21 May 2015

The Stroke of Midnight

Last night our little princess left the ball just before the stroke of midnight.

We are so sad to say that Jacqui is gone.  Last Sunday, the pain came again and this time it couldn't be stopped.  She has been heavily sedated since Monday and last night she'd had enough and decided to start on her next adventure. She'd had many meaningful visits over the past few weeks with many that she loved deeply and was at peace.  A little visit from little Miss Jany yesterday made things complete. Peter, Tyler, Britt and I were with her and the last words she said were "I love you".  Which sums her up to a tee and please know that she loved you all too.




Wednesday 13 May 2015

May 12, 2010


On May 12, 2010 my mom and I went to meet with Dr. Puloski. I knew him to be a orthopaedic surgeon and I was seeing him for the results of a recent biopsy of the falling arch in my left foot. That was why we were at the foothills hospital that day. We didn't think much of what was happening and we felt that it was taking a long time to see him. We even asked the secretary why the wait was so long and she told us that some people were being told they had cancer for the first time and they needed extra time with the Doctor. "Oh! Those poor people" we said to one another and decided to wait patiently... little did we know that our world was about to be shattered into an entirely new one.

You know the story and what happened next, the amputation, the chemo, the surgery, and more chemo and here we are FIVE years later.

It is unreal to think about that day, I remember it very clearly. It was one of the worst days of my life and it ushered in a whole new world and existence. These last 5 years have been nothing short of incredible. Incredible in both good and bad ways. Those of you who have been close with us throughout this journey will agree with us. What a 5 years with Synovial Sarcoma.

I want to share a video with all of you where I speak a bit about the last 5 years. I was approached by Jacob Pisesky a couple months back to help him with a school project. He is in journalism and made a short video about my journey with cancer and some of my thoughts and insights. The video is 4 minutes long and I hope you will take the time to watch it!


I had to download it on my computer to watch it - the file was too big for my phone so be aware that you might need your computer!

I want to thank Jacob for letting me be apart of his video! He scored an A+ on it which is pretty incredible. It was really cool to sit and reflect when Jacob was asking me his different questions. I hope the link works and that you can enjoy it!

A little note from Carol:

Just an update on what is happening and where Jacqui is at. 

Although Jacqui is technically in care at the Hospice, they are being very lenient with her and she is able to get passes, so she is spending much of her time at home.   This "limbo" time has become very special as an immediate family and is one that we want to dedicate to time together and with her very closest friends.  You may have seen happy posts on facebook or instagram, but please know that these times are very intentional and well planned as time is becoming more precious.

Thanks for your understanding and support. 





Saturday 2 May 2015

Life is Not too Short

Life is Not Too Short 
by Jacqueline Warner



People always say “life is too short” or “live today like it is your last day” and so on.
Those phrases are meant to be encouraging but since I was diagnosed with cancer in 2010 I have struggled with them.

Your life is exactly as long as it is suppose to be. Call me a Christian, and a believer in fate or destiny, but I feel this to be true.

Your life is as long as it is suppose to be.

The idea that “life is too short” tends to mock all of your accomplishments. It tells you that all the concerts you saw, the trips you took, and experiences you had were not enough. This is simply not true.

My life will not last too much longer.

Yes there are things I have not had the pleasure of doing but there is so much that I have done!
“Live each day like it is your last” is also silly because on a daily basis you cannot be on the beach or at Disneyland. You have to be at work, you have to be helping people, cleaning the house, or just resting at home. Some days will be “boring”. I rest a lot.

Stop making your life a race to accomplish everything and instead appreciate everything that you do accomplish.

Maybe that is all those phrases ever meant to say but I always found them to be mocking me.
“Do more! See More! It’s not enough! Why haven’t you tried this yet? Hurry!”

Your life is exactly as long as it is ever suppose to be.  Rest in that. What I have never done is done, cut by the sharp knife of a short life.

I did everything I could do with my time and it is Good!